I am alive.

"A little girl can be sweeter (and worse) more often than anyone else in the world. She can jitter around, and stomp, and make funny noises that frazzle your nerves yet just when you open your mouth she stands there demure with that special look in her eyes. A girl is Innocence playing in the mud, Beauty standing on its head, and Motherhood dragging a doll by the foot."

Maybe I was just waiting for something to strike me. I've been out of the game for a bit with some terrible headaches and finally having two babies is taking its toll on my energy. But I am alive and there's no time like the present to start doing what I want to do...

On Thanksgiving it will be three years since I found out I was going to be a mother. What a frightening day. Although I was married to the man I love and we were perfectly ready to take on the responsibility, the idea of actually doing it put a knot in my stomach.

She came to be the best surprise I've ever had and if you know me, you know I love surprises :)

Some days she leads me on a bumpy path to my wits end and I can't understand why God chose me to be her mother...then Mark comes home from work and I see his example of patients and love and watch Ada's eyes light up for her daddy. She teaches me patients.

She is intelligent beyond words. I want to brag about her to everyone I know but she is also shy and wise about who she shares her smiles, dancing and singing with. She teaches me humility.

I look out the window at the rain and frown, she says "Mom, are you upset?" She can read my emotions quickly and she is so sweet and understanding already. Her hugs are meaningful. Her kisses are not given sparingly, you know you're special when she gives you one. She teaches me love.